How to Convince Your Husband to Have a Baby (Without Being Pushy)

How to Convince Your Husband to Have a Baby

Are you ready to be a mother but perhaps you don’t know how to convince your husband to have a baby?

This can be a bit tricky and it’ll really depend on how firm he is on wanting kids or not. You know your husband best, and only you know how serious he is about wanting kids or not.

If he is completely against having kids and will never want them, then you two will definitely need to have a more serious conversation together.

But if he just has cold feet and is more nervous about when to start a family, then following these 10 steps is definitely worth a shot!

The best thing is to ensure that you both feel ready to start a family and that you made the decision together without forcing anything on each other.

These tips on how to convince your husband to have a baby are great because they won’t make your husband feel forced to have kids, but rather they will help your husband see himself as more father-material and thus feel more ready to be a father.

10 Easy steps to discreetly convince your husband to have a baby

1. Babysit with him

Let me tell you right now that if you plan on doing this, make sure those kids that you’ll be babysitting together are well-behaved and easy to manage!

The last thing you’ll want is to babysit kids that throw tantrums or cry for everything. Your husband will be scarred for life and it’ll be that much harder to convince him to have kids after that.

Okay so back to what I was saying.. reach out to your friends or family about babysitting their kids one day.

Your husband needs to know what it’s like being around kids, and the goal here is to have him enjoy spending time with them. Make this fun for him and the kids, so play football, play hide and seek, play videogames, do things that you know your husband would enjoy doing and are kid-friendly.

Do these things, and maybe your husband will warm up to kids a bit more.

2. Get a pet together

Whether it’s a dog, cat, snake, or bird,  find a low-maintenance pet to care for together.

Let’s say you decide to get a dog. You’ll want to make sure you work as a team to care for your new fur baby.

Do all the fun things together-walk your dog, play with your dog, give your doggy a bath, etc.

Little by little, you might find your husband loving your fur baby so much that he’ll be open to the idea of expanding the family even more and have a baby with you.

Having a pet together will teach your husband to be more patient, responsible, and nurturing, all the things that make a great father.

He might start seeing himself as more father-material now because you got this pet together. Sometimes men just need this little push to have more faith in themselves to be a dad one day.

3. Show interest in his hobbies (or at least fake the interest)

Whether you’re being genuine about this or not, show a sudden interest in your husband’s hobbies.

Watch the next football game with him, watch his favorite shows together, take him to play Topgolf. You know what his hobbies are, so show some initiative and join him in doing those things with him.

The goal is to show him you care about the things he loves and are important to him. He’ll appreciate this and may even reconsider the idea of having kids because he knows it’s important to you.

4. Casually bring up the conversation of having a baby

If your husband is already pretty closed off to the idea of having kids right now, then you don’t want to seem pushy or naggy.

You’ll want to bring up the conversation of having a baby in a casual way where you don’t seem too eager.

Be very patient and find the right moment to bring up and carry out the conversation.

5. Keep your cool whenever the topic of babies comes up

Now in this case, if the topic were to just come up on its own, you’ve got to find the strength within you to keep your cool.

There are so many things to talk about before having a baby, and if any of these topics come up, be calm and avoid any tone or conversation that can turn into an argument.

Again, you shouldn’t seem too eager. Let your husband gradually warm up to the idea of having kids. Being too pushy about it is not going to help convince him.

6. Leave little clues around the house of your desire to be a mom

You know how much you want to have a baby, and I’m sure your husband has an idea of this too. But really show him how much being a mother would mean to you.

The way to do this discretely is by leaving little clues around your house and have him find them on his own.

You can write journal entries about your desires and dreams about being a mother. Make it super personal and heart-warming. Leave it out somewhere for your husband to find in hopes he’ll read it.

You can also buy books about motherhood or something related and do the same thing. If he sees these things on his own, it might move him in a way where he’ll truly understand just how much you want to be a mom.

7. Use his friends and family to try to convince him

Men value the advice given to them from their friends and family members, especially if they’re male. Use this to your advantage.

Very secretly and carefully, find the perfect friend or relative of your husband who you trust as well. Ask them if they’re willing to be a spy for you, nothing too crazy.

Whoever you choose, you’ve got to make sure that they understand where you’re coming from and feel comfortable bringing this up to your husband.

All they really need to do is casually bring up the conversation of having kids and maybe even talk about all the things they love about being a parent if he or she has kids of their own.

Hopefully your husband will be inspired by the conversation and consider their advice.

8. Use reverse psychology on him

Have you ever thought of maybe using reverse psychology on your husband?

If your husband already knows you want to have kids and he’s still reluctant about it, maybe consider doing this..

Pretend to change your mind about wanting to have a baby. This will catch your husband really off guard. He won’t even know how to feel about this anymore.

He might start wondering what changed your mind. This curiosity will stay with him for daaayyyss.

He might also miss the times that you bring up the conversation of having kids. So much that maybe he’ll be the one to now bring up the conversation.

Whatever reaction your husband has to the reverse psychology, something will be triggered in your husband that can help change his mind.

9. Be extra loving to him every day

My first tip: If you don’t know what your husband’s love language is, figure this out first.

You’ll want to express your love for your husband every day using his love language. And if you’re already doing this, do it a little more than usual.

Men feel more confident and secure when they feel loved, and if you’re expressing your love more than usual in a way that really hits home for him, he’s going to feel extra confident and secure in your relationship.

This boost in confidence and security in your relationship might just help him become more open to the idea of starting a family.

10. Highlight your husband’s qualities and express to him how proud  you are of the man he’s become

Sometimes men just don’t feel confident with themselves in being a parent and this fear is what can cause them to not want kids at all.

Remind your husband of the qualities he has that would make him a great father. Highlight his patience, how loving he is, how responsible he is. Highlight every characteristic he possesses that would make him a great father one day.

Not only can this help build his confidence, but he might start seeing that perhaps he is ready to be a father and that he can be a good one at that.

Tips from a dating and relationship coach

How do I talk to my husband about having a baby?

My personal advice is that if your husband is 100% against having kids now and in the future, then this is a more serious conversation that may require professional advice.

But if in general you’re just trying to have a conversation about when to start a family or want to discuss his fears or concerns about having a baby, you can follow these general tips:

  • Set aside a time where you both can sit down and have the conversation without any distractions.
  • Hold his hand during the conversation.
  • Avoid sarcasm and being passive aggressive.
  • Avoid being pushy and do not approach the situation as if you’re giving him an ultimatum.
  • Listen to his side and put yourself in his shoes.
  • Do not interrupt each other.
  • Be very open and transparent. The more honest you are, the better.
  • Offer solutions to each other’s fears or concerns.
  • Do not be judgmental about anything your partner brings up.
  • Take deep breaths if you get emotional or upset about something brought up.
  • Have a patient and understanding tone the entire time.

I want a baby but my husband wants to wait

If this is the case, consider the following questions to ask yourself before making any drastic move or decision:

  • How long have you two been married for?
  • Have you both fully enjoyed being just the two of you? Have you fully enjoyed just being a couple with no kids yet?
  • How old are the two of you?
  • What is your financial situation?
  • Does he just have cold feet?
  • How long does he want to wait? What are his reasons?

If he has serious reasons to wait such as wanting to consolidate some debt or he’s still finishing school, then these are valid reasons to wait a bit.

Ultimately, you don’t want to force kids on your husband, and if he’s telling you he seriously wants to wait, then you need to hear him out. You will need to be patient.

How do I convince my husband to have another baby?

The good news here is your husband is obviously open to the idea of having kids, what you have to work around now is whether he’d be open to have a second baby.

Here are some reasons you could use for having a second baby!

  • your first baby will have someone to play with-giving you more time alone 😉
  • you can reuse all the baby gear and clothes so it won’t go to waste
  • your parents will be so excited for another grandbaby
  • the pregnancy and labor will be less scary this time now that you know what to expect
  • use your biological clock if there’s a sense of urgency

How to convince your husband to have a third baby

Heck, if you already have two babies, use the same reasons from above to convince him to have a third baby!

Here are some additional reasons you could also use!

  • if you have two girls, try convincing him you want to try again for the boy (or vice versa)
  • if you’re still super young and can financially afford a third child, then there’s nothing really stopping you
  • the transition to having a third child is often easier
  • parenting often becomes more relaxed with the third child
  • the two older kids would be so excited to have another sibling

How to compromise on having a baby

When you disagree on something as a couple, you can often resolve the issue by finding an easy compromise.

But can you really compromise having a baby?

There are certain things that are easier to compromise that aren’t too messy to deal with such as compromising on the number of kids to have, or when to have them if you both want kids.

But if your situation is that your husband will not budge on having kids, then this is where the conversation is much more serious and you might even want to consult with a couples therapist.

Final thoughts

Ultimately, if your husband has told you seriously that he will never want kids, you must know that there is a chance that maybe nothing will ever convince him. If you keep trying to change his mind, it can make it worse.

Being on polar opposites in this case can be extremely difficult, and it’s something that you’ll have to navigate together.

For others, maybe your situation is more that you’re both on the same page of wanting kids, but he just doesn’t want to have them yet. Depending on his reasons you may need to have patience here until it’s the right time to start a family.

And finally, maybe your husband is just nervous or scared of being a father. In this case, you will want to help him see that he is ready to be a parent. Try these 10 steps I outlined and hopefully they’ll help him see that he’s ready to start a family.

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