100 Questions That Every Couple Should Ask Before Having a Baby
Looking for the essential 100 questions to ask before having a baby? This ultimate list breaks down the major topics you and your partner will want to talk about before starting a family.
The idea of starting a family can be really exciting but also overwhelming. In fact, I bet you have all sorts of thoughts and questions running through your mind at this very moment.
I’ve been down this road before, and let me tell you, I ended up jotting down my SO many questions, but I narrowed it down to 100 questions to ask before having a baby for this post.
As an obsessive planner and organizer, I am giving you the ultimate list of questions to ask before starting a family across different topics.
Here you’ll reflect on questions to ask yourself before having a baby, 25 things to talk about before getting pregnant, things to consider before having a baby, and questions to ask about parenting.
This post is all about the essential 100 questions to ask before having a baby.
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having a Baby
Before talking with your significant other, take some time to reflect on these questions on your own first. Be very honest with yourself, and feel free to even write down your responses.
- Do I want to have a baby?
- Why do I want to have a baby
- How is my physical and mental health?
- Am I okay with what pregnancy will do to my body?
- Am I feeling pressured to have kids?
- Is this the right person to start a family with?
- Am I willing to change my lifestyle as I transition to parenthood?
- Am I ready to give up “me” time?
- Have I accomplished all the things I wanted to do before having kids?
- A baby will change EVERYTHING, am I truly ready for that?
25 Things to Talk About Before Getting Pregnant
Okay, here are the questions that every couple should start discussing together. Find a quiet space where you can really take the time to talk about these questions with no distractions.
Do not be afraid to let you partner know how you really feel. Be very honest now so that you know exactly where you both stand on each of the subtopics. Again, feel free to write your responses down.
**Related Post: 21 Obvious Signs He Wants a Baby With You
Fertility and Conception
- Should we consider preconception counseling?
- Should we consider preconception genetic testing?
- What is our physical health going into pregnancy?
- When will we actively try to get pregnant?
- Are we open to IVF or surrogacy if we struggle to conceive?
- Are we open to adopting?
Financial Planning and Expenses
- How much money do we have in our savings?
- How much debt do we have?
- Have we discussed health insurance options?
- Can I afford to not work during the pregnancy or after the baby arrives? Will I be a working mom?
- What is our household income?
- Considering our income, what will our monthly budget look like for all expenses?
Work and Career
- Have we accomplished our career goals?
- Do at least one of us have a stable job/career?
- How long is my maternity leave at my job? Is it paid?
- Will we both work during the pregnancy and after the baby arrives?
- If given the option, do we want to work from home?
Relationship and Marriage
- Are we both on the same page regarding having kids?
- Have we been together long enough to start a family?
- Do we have a strong and healthy relationship?
- Do we both feel ready to have kids?
- How many kids do we want?
- How will having a baby affect our relationship and intimacy?
- If not married, how do we feel about having a baby before marriage?
- How will we make time for each other despite the pregnancy/baby craziness?
Things to Consider Before Having a Baby
Even if you are not pregnant yet, you and your partner can still 100% benefit from discussing the following questions. It’s best to set your expectations now on these topics before the baby comes.
Pregnancy and Birth Plan
- Should we consider genetic testing during the pregnancy?
- Do we want to know the sex of the baby before birth?
- Do we want to do a gender reveal party?
- Will we have a registry and baby shower?
- Have we created a birth plan?
- What will we include in our birth plan?
- Will I have a home birth, hospital birth, or pool birth?
- What do we think about co-sleeping or bed sharing?
- What role will the dad have during the pregnancy?
Naming Your Baby
- Do we already have baby names?
- Will we name our baby after family members?
- Do we want our baby’s name to have a special meaning?
- Do we want middle names?
- If not married, what will our baby’s last name be?
- Will I be breastfeeding or bottle feeding?
- How long would I plan to breastfeed for?
- When will we start introducing solid foods?
- Do we want our baby to eat organic foods?
- How will we handle our work schedules while having a baby?
- Will we be working night or day shifts?
- Are we planning on moving while having kids?
- What is our plan for the baby’s feeding and sleep schedule?
- What is our plan for division of labor?
- How will we find time for each other?
- How often will we see our relatives?
- Will we still make time to see our friends?
- Can we afford childcare?
- Will we need childcare?
- Will we occasionally need a babysitter or a nanny?
- Who from our families can we trust to watch after our baby/toddler/kids?
Questions to Ask About Parenting
The following questions may pertain to later in the future, but honestly, the sooner you discuss these topics the better! Personally, I would still discuss these before having a baby.
Some of these topics can be uncomfortable or difficult to discuss, but it is necessary to touch on these topics. Listen to understand where your partner is coming from. This is key for successfully communicating with each other.
- Do we have a good support system with our families?
- How much help will we have from our families especially during the baby’s first few months?
- How often will our kids see their grandparents?
- What role will our parents have as grandparents?
- What if our families don’t agree with our parenting style?
- How strict will we be as parents?
- What will our parenting style be?
- Do we believe in spanking as a method of discipline?
- Will we use time-outs or grounding as forms of discipline?
- Will we use positive reinforcement?
- What happens if we disagree with how the other person disciplines our child?
- Are we okay with family relatives discipling our child?
- How will we handle our child misbehaving in public places, such as in school?
- Do we as a couple follow the same religious beliefs, if any?
- What religious beliefs/practices will we raise our kids with?
- Will our kids have godparents?
- Will we allow religious influence from other family members?
- Will our kids attend public or private school?
- Have we considered homeschooling?
- How important is high academic achievement?
- Would we consider hiring a tutor if our kid is struggling?
- Will our kids be involved in extracurricular activities or sports?
- How will we be involved in our child’s education?
- How will their college education be paid for?
Family Lifestyle, Values, and Beliefs
- If we have a baby boy, will he be circumcised?
- What will our core family values be?
- What family traditions will we want to have?
- What will our political beliefs be as a family?
- How much traveling will we do as a family?
- If we are vegan or vegetarian, how will we approach that with our kids?
- Will we be giving our kids an allowance?
- How much use of technology will we allow for our kids?
- Are we both active on social media?
- Will we allow our kids to have social media accounts?
- How will we be monitoring our kids on social media?
Final thoughts on the 100 questions to ask before having a baby
Plan a time to sit down with your significant other and discuss these questions, especially if there’s anything from the list you two have never considered before. Believe me, it’ll save you time and trouble by having these conversations beforehand.
The sooner you have these important conversations, the more prepared and ready you two will feel to start your family.
**What questions have you and partner already discussed? Do you have any great questions that belong in this list? I’d LOVE to hear about them in the comments!