Questions You Must Ask Yourself Before Having a Baby
Are you at a point in your life where you are thinking about becoming a parent? If so, then let me share with you the list of essential questions to ask yourself before having a baby!
There are so many things to consider before having baby, and I want to save you time by providing some of the most important questions to ask yourself.
From figuring out if you even want to have a baby to ultimately deciding if you are ready to be a parent, I know this list of questions will help you find some answers.
This post is all about the questions you should ask yourself before having a child.
What should I think about before having a baby?
As you reflect on the following questions, maybe consider writing your thoughts down. You might even want to journal about each of these questions per day. Be very honest with your answers, and take your time to respond to them.
1. Do I want to have a baby?
You’d think this is obvious, but a lot of women never seriously ask themselves if they want to have a baby.
What if you don’t want kids at all, like ever? Have you ever fully admitted this to yourself? If this is how you’re truly feeling, then this is something you need to share with your partner.
On the other hand, maybe you do want to have a baby. Well, do you want a baby in general or are you thinking about a particular timeline? Maybe a couple of years from now? Or are you thinking 5-10 years from now?
2. Why do I want to have a baby?
What is your reason for wanting a baby? I will tell you that some wrong reasons include: because people are pressuring you, because you think it’ll fix your relationship with your significant other, and because everyone is having them so you don’t want to be left out.
Having a baby for all the wrong reasons can have major consequences for the future. Really think about whether you have the right intentions or not.
3. How is my physical and mental health?
Pregnancy is a physical and emotional rollercoaster that can really take a toll on your body. If you have underlying health conditions that may affect pregnancy, then it’s a good idea to consult with your doctor first.
If you are dealing with mental health issues such as anxiety or depression, really ask yourself if you are in a good place where you can handle taking on pregnancy. But again, I recommend consulting with your doctor about this as well.
4. Am I financially ready?
Okay, let’s state the obvious: babies are expensive. Parents spend tens of thousands of dollars in baby expenses in just the first year!
Do you have any savings? How much debt do you have? What is your income? You have to consider whether or not you can even afford a baby. This topic can be discouraging, but you really have to consider the logistics.
5. Am I okay with what pregnancy will do to my body?
It’s no secret that your body will completely change due to pregnancy. You’ll put on some weight, develop some stretch marks, your back will hurt, your feet may swell, the list goes on.
After you have your baby, you won’t be back to your 100% normal self right away. MedicineNet suggests that postpartum recovery can take anywhere from 6 months to a year. It may even take longer!
Going through pregnancy and childbirth is A LOT for your body. Really be mindful of that. I’m sure your mom, sister, friend, or anyone who’s been through it all can personally give you endless amounts of insights on the good, the bad, and the ugly.
6. Am I feeling pressured to have kids?
DO NOT have a baby out of jealousy or pressure simply because you see friends or family members having their own kids. DO NOT get pregnant if your significant other is pressuring you and you are not ready.
If you’re in your thirties or forties, and you’re starting to feel pressure to have kids soon, try to not let that be your only reason to have a baby. Yes, your age is important, but I also want you to be ready to take that leap and become a mother.
7. Is this the right person to start a family with?
Is he a good person? Is he financially stable? Does he have the qualities that would make a great father? Do you both have a loving relationship?
A baby needs a strong and stable foundation in the household, and if you’re still struggling as a couple, then please remember that a baby will not solve your problems.
If he’s not father material, then don’t rely on a baby to change him. It’s best to be sure of him first before starting a family together.
8. Am I willing to give up “me” time and change my lifestyle as I transition to parenthood?
Once you are a mommy, “me” time is practically nonexistent for a while. Sure, eventually you will find the time to go out and socialize, but even then, you will probably be thinking about your baby at home the entire time.
The truth is, as a new parent, you will always be thinking of your baby. This alone, uninterrupted, “me” time where you are relaxing, binge-watching TV shows, shopping, going to the spa, or doing other activities for hours is no longer going to be something you can do whenever you’d like.
I’m not saying your “me” time will be gone forever. It’ll just never look the same anymore.
Your everyday routine will turn upside down once the baby arrives, so naturally, expect your lifestyle to change since your schedule will now revolve around the baby.
You may not travel as much as you’d like anymore. You will have less sleep and less sex now. You’ll have way less alone time. You won’t be able to go out for drinks or go clubbing like you did before.
Parenthood is a whole new world, so you’ll have to make some sacrifices as you transition to this different lifestyle.
9. Have I accomplished all the things I wanted to do before having kids?
It’s totally possible to still have kids and accomplish the life goals you set out for yourself. However, I definitely recommend try accomplishing those things before having kids while you have more time and energy.
Personally, I knew I wanted to get my master’s degree before having kids, and I’m SO glad I did because it really saved me so much time and trouble. (props to those parents who are enrolled in school, I don’t know how you guys do it!)
Whether you have personal goals, professional goals, or educational goals to accomplish, really think about whether you’d ideally want to accomplish them before or after having children.
10. Am I ready to have a baby?
Do you simply just have a gut feeling that you are ready to have a baby? If you don’t, then figure out what may be holding you back.
You know yourself best and only you know the core reason why you may or may not be ready. Listen to your intuition and take all the time you need.
You and your partner will eventually need to sit down and discuss the idea of having a baby together. BUT, it’s super helpful if you reflect on these 11 questions beforehand so that you can tell your partner where you stand on each of these topics.
Like I mentioned before, you must be very honest with your responses. Having a baby is a life-changing decision that cannot be taken lightly.
So if you’re thinking about becoming a parent, really take the time to ask yourself these questions. Taking the time to do so can really make a difference for you.